I’m Still an Agnostic
Sometimes when I get down about the world, I think the Buddhists are right that there is no hell, because we suffer enough throughout life, and karma punishes for our transgressions by forcing us to continue existing after death. If we’ve been very bad, we’ll be reborn into a worse situation than the one before. That makes a lot of sense to me. I’m certainly not suicidal or anything so don’t take this the wrong way, but it seems like a real, finite death would be a welcome end to a tumultuous life. If I feel this way with my fantastic life full of comfort and safety and love and luxuries, then I can’t possibly imagine how it would feel for someone who faces far more challenges and hardships. I understand why people believe in a heaven and hell – heaven cancels death, and we fear death, so not only would you be free from all the suffering in life, but you would also be free from death. Hell is punishment for those people who’ve made the world the difficult place that it is. I’m not fond of the hell idea but I can understand the heaven concept. Yet, why does a clean, finite death seem like a better option to me? Maybe this is because I can’t imagine an existence where only contentment and pleasure exist without any kind of negativity, and I certainly can’t wrap my head around the concept of “forever and ever.” It all seems unbalanced. I don’t know if there is a heaven or not – how could I possibly know that? I think there could be a God. But if I was given the choice between heaven and death (if hell were an option, who would choose that?), I’d pick death.
This post about death has been brought to you by the fall, aka, autumn.
Sometimes when I get down about the world, I think the Buddhists are right that there is no hell, because we suffer enough throughout life, and karma punishes for our transgressions by forcing us to continue existing after death. If we’ve been very bad, we’ll be reborn into a worse situation than the one before. That makes a lot of sense to me. I’m certainly not suicidal or anything so don’t take this the wrong way, but it seems like a real, finite death would be a welcome end to a tumultuous life. If I feel this way with my fantastic life full of comfort and safety and love and luxuries, then I can’t possibly imagine how it would feel for someone who faces far more challenges and hardships. I understand why people believe in a heaven and hell – heaven cancels death, and we fear death, so not only would you be free from all the suffering in life, but you would also be free from death. Hell is punishment for those people who’ve made the world the difficult place that it is. I’m not fond of the hell idea but I can understand the heaven concept. Yet, why does a clean, finite death seem like a better option to me? Maybe this is because I can’t imagine an existence where only contentment and pleasure exist without any kind of negativity, and I certainly can’t wrap my head around the concept of “forever and ever.” It all seems unbalanced. I don’t know if there is a heaven or not – how could I possibly know that? I think there could be a God. But if I was given the choice between heaven and death (if hell were an option, who would choose that?), I’d pick death.
This post about death has been brought to you by the fall, aka, autumn.
posted by AmyF at
10:42 AM
4 Comments:
Hey you! Just thought I'd drop in on your blog for the first time in, what, a year!?! I know. I suck.
Anyway, I'm now slightly less out-of-the-loop with the internet world (I hate calling it "cyberspace"). I finally got high-speed internet at home so I'm now slightly more in touch than my grandma in terms of the Web. I hope to update my blog from time to time now and drop in on the rest of you. See how life is going.
By the way, I empathize with your thoughts on agnosticism. About six years ago I went through a serious atheism period where I thought the whole God notion was bullshit, and even if he did exist then he's a fucking asshole. But in recent years I too have found that Buddhists seem to have a better grasp on spirituality than most anyone. I wouldn't say that I'm back to believing in God. Not the Biblical one anyway. A friend of mine who was an atheist for a long time recently changed his feelings too, stating that people who are atheists are just as foolish as people who are so pious and overly zealous about their faith as to believe they have all the answers. He said he doesn't want to be on either extreme end of the spectrum. That pretty much sums it up for me too. You just can't know all the answers, either way.
As for the heaven and hell thing, I have doubts about both. Remember that movie "What Dreams May Come"? Awful film! I tried watching it again recently and was appalled that I ever liked it when it first came out. But I do still like the idea that we create our own heaven and hell. And if there is an afterlife, our attitudes and outlook will probably carry over. I also tend to think that, if we are eternal beings, we humans must be in some sort of infancy stage, and the best is hopefully yet to come. Anyway, I've chosen a more positive outlook about it all, because it helps to deal with a "tumultuous life" as you put it. I've also often wondered how the less than fortunate deal with their lives as well. I find it curious that many people who seem to struggle the most in life are also the most religous. I wonder if they turn towards religion willingly because it's the only thing that gives them a sense of hope, or if they're simply more vulnerale to the parasitic clutches of organized religion. Perhaps it's a bit of both.
By
Danimal Dan, at 11:45 AM
Hey there!
Welcome back to blogging!
I tend to agree with your statement: "I find it curious that many people who seem to struggle the most in life are also the most religous. I wonder if they turn towards religion willingly because it's the only thing that gives them a sense of hope, or if they're simply more vulnerale to the parasitic clutches of organized religion. Perhaps it's a bit of both."
I think the promise of Heaven is especially tantalizing to the less fortunate because it means they will have everything they don't have in this life. They won't "just die," they will have the chance to live in peace and comfort. And I think this desire also makes them vulnerable to organized religion because it promises them all these things. But I've also observed that a belief in God can be great comfort to people on a day-to-day basis. I see this with some of the women I work with. It brings them comfort, community, and a sense of purpose.
Anyway, yeah, What Dreams May Come was a terrible movie, but the book was much better.
By
AmyF, at 10:11 AM
Wow, hon, that's kinda bleak. I actually don't believe in any kind of afterlife and I'm glad about it. I honestly have no desire to live on for all of enternity doing anything. I think there is a beginning, a middle and an end and I think we all meet the exact same fate, death eternally and I have no issue with that.
But it goes to show, there are all types of colors in teh agnostic rainbow. We all aren't the same. ;)
By
The Girl From Park Heights, at 10:21 AM
Wow...mind bomb post.
I think that we live in an intelligent universe. This 'God person' might just be the occasional manifestation of intelligence in the natural cycles, ebbs, flows and processes which we take notice of with our limited abilities of perception.
My 'faith', if you can call it a faith, is actually an acknowledgement of the cycles of nature (I'm such a goddamn, heathen pagan with my DNA still dancing naked around Stonehenge on the Solstices and Equinoxes praying for a good harvest)
Dunno...all this metaphysical angst about Heaven and Hell just isn't worth my energy. What's the purpose of living if we have to walk some religious tightrope.
If there is no Hell or Heaven yet we, as a species, either individually or collectively, can manifest reality from thought, would we then create a Hell or Heaven where there was once nothing? Does this make us Gods?
I have more questions than answers on this late Friday afternoon in October.
By
Jeff, at 4:42 PM
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