Happy Halloween!!

And sadly, I don't have a costume this year. Instead I will stay home and study for my test. Yes, it's that time of year.

Make sure to share your candy

That Was Wierd

My October 20th was posted in 2007. Had to fix it. Eh, probably happened because blogger was being a pain that day, as usual.

Butt-Kicking and Cameras

Not together, of course, but that sounds like a good time. No, all I have to say that school is starting to kick my butt and will progressively kick harder in the next month and a half. It's partly because of the demands of one class (damn you!), but mainly it's because of two things: a) my desire to do well (and need, because I need a B or better to get my 50% work discount), and b) the fact that work is now my number one priority. Also, I'm still a little rusty. One benefit, though, is the fact that I seem to have learned a thing or two about the world in the 4 years I spent between undergrad and graduate school. I have a stronger knowledge base than I did before. I have picked up a few things here and there in the academic realm (thank you, books), and I've learned boatloads in the "real world" realm. I'm approaching my work from a new, more informed place.

Also, I've started playing this really addictive online game called World of Warcraft. People have dropped out of their lives for this game. Not kidding. They've lost educations, jobs, and girlfriends to this game. I'm not too addicted, because I'm too ADD to get absorbed in any one activity for too long, but it's a nice diversion. Did I mention I play it with the BF? I suppose it's quality time for us, and that's always a good thing.

We visited Sleepy Hollow last weekend. It was so lovely up there by the Hudson River, it once again reaffirms why I need to get a new damn camera. Soon!

Here she is, the Great Procrastinator!

Bad poster, bad bad! I’m falling behind my goal of 5+ posts per month. I was doing so well for a while, too!
I have a slight problem with motivation; I’ve always had this issue and it doesn’t seem to disappear with age and experience. In fact, it seems to be getting worse, thanks to the internet. (I have somewhere to place the blame outside of myself! Ha.) The internet, and particularly the blogosphere, is my one almost-serious addiction and is nearly impossible to avoid. I have seamless internet connections at work, at home, and out of the home now that I have my fabulous laptop with wireless (it’s not a Mac and therefore not that fabulous, but thankfully less pretentious).
I have fantasies of hosting a podcast, writing a how-to-live-cheaply-in-NYC guide (or site), and turning my sometimes hilarious, sometimes disturbing and always surreal dreams into abstract art. All while getting my master’s degree and working full-time. Yet I can’t seem to pull myself away from these damn blogs enough to write more than one silly little entry a week!
Blogs aren’t always a bad influence, though: I’ve actually learned from them, I keep up with current events through them, I feel a connection to the latest tech craze, and they’ve helped me reconnect with some old friends. So blog addiction is not the worst problem I could have. And really, the procrastination is mostly my own fault. Maybe I’ll do something about that.

Reflections

I’ve been writing in this blog for more than a year, so now and again I like to peek at entries I’ve written a year ago. Looking backward, it’s almost as if I was receiving a letter from someone else, somewhere else. It’s fascinating and even somewhat illuminating to see where my mind was at that moment, what the weather was like, what was going on in the world. Sometimes I romanticize the past. I leave out the worst bits and dwell on the best, and I suppose that’s not a bad practice as long as I don’t erase the context completely. This blog is a fairly honest record of the context. I don’t reveal everything, since it’s public, but the context is definitely present and my memory is strong enough to fill in the gaps.
I look back at last October and I remember how I was longing to leave New York, and that hasn’t changed so much (although lately I’ve settled in, knowing that I have a fixed amount of time here so I may enjoy it while I can). I said my neighborhood was my saving grace, and my current neighborhood is definitely a step down the previous one but I’ve found other ways to enjoy my space. I wish I’d written about a few things I’d left out, like the Teacher’s retreat at the Opera where I conducted a seminar. Last year I had the day off on Columbus Day, this year I worked. Last year politicians were scandalized, this year they are even more scandalized and last years’ scandals are a distant memory.
It’s nice to have a basis for comparison, it’s nice to reflect, and nostalgia can be fun sometimes. I’m a fan of leaving the past in the past, but there are moments of my past that I like to keep, because those memories are sweet and a joy to recall. They also serve to remind me of where I’ve been and how far I’ve come. When I can accurately remember how I felt on the journey from there to here, it helps me during those difficult days: if I could make it through all that and come this far, I can go farther. I will go farther, too. Probably to places I can’t even imagine, both physically and spiritually.

Someday

Today I've been having fantasies all day about going back to school to study science. A part of me loves science (biology, mainly) and I feel I've never served that side of myself well enough. Maybe one day I will, maybe. Life has a funny way of getting in the way of expensive and time-consuming dreams.